Family life is busy. It’s hard enough to manage your own time, but in a family you’re responsible for managing everyone’s time. And like any other team, your family cannot succeed without teamwork. Problem is, even though you may be close to your family members, they still tend to take a lot of things for granted. It’s not like you’re facing a competing team in a match everyday, so how do you rally the troops to keep your family running smoothly?

If you’re like the typical household organizer, you’re barely getting through a day without goading or reminding your spouse, the babysitter, or the kids several times about what chore or homework or sports activity they’re supposed to be doing or not. And, on occasion, either you or your spouse ends up at wrong place or the wrong time, and there is enough frustration to go all around. Surely, there’s got to be a better way!

There is. It’s called family management. No doubt, love is the basis for a happy family. But a little management will go a long way in keeping that institution running smoothly.

Family Management ought to be taught in school. These days, there are some schools offering programs on family management, and that’s a good thing. Most of us have never even thought of the term even though we may deal with the issues every day. Some of us are probably even good family managers!

If you take a step back and think about everyday life, it offers some of the same challenges any team of unconnected individuals will come to face if they need to live in close quarters and work towards some common goals. In other words, workgroups everywhere face almost exactly the same set of challenges that a family faces. Workgroups spend a lot of time and resources towards managing teamwork. Families generally don’t, and they should.

The UCLA Center for Everyday Living noted in a recently concluded study that between two careers and parenting, there are three jobs, but only two people to run them. I’d add that there’s a fourth job - household management. Keeping all these things running smoothly and retaining your sanity requires efficient management.

Whether you’re running a busy household or managing a small team, what you need do to keep things running smoothly are the same:

• Make daily, weekly, and monthly to-do lists for everyone
• Set expectations
• Monitor progress and provide frequent feedback
• Continually educate, motivate, and inspire

Get yourself a good family organizer. There are several available. There are paper-based solutions and software-based solutions (like the one my company, Mediabee, makes). Whichever solution you pick, be sure that it meets all of the requirements above.

But before you implement the solution, remember, you must get your family’s buy-in first. Not doing so would be to set yourself up for failure. It is human nature to concentrate on your own priorities, and your spouse and kids are human. (So are you as a matter of fact.) The other, often overlooked, fact is, men, women, and children are differently constructed and their priorities tend to be dramatically different. Hence the need for everyone to get on the same page as you start to put this solution into practice.

Here are the things to discuss as put this system in place:

• Why the system is needed. Emphasize the positive aspects of what you’re trying to achieve: to be a healthy and happy family. You’d think this should be obvious, but, as I said, people think differently, even if they’re your own family. Each family’s situation is unique, so you’ll have to discuss the situation appropriately. Bottomline: everybody has to do their part of the required chores, whether or not they think it is a priority for them, or the “family” isn’t going to be happy. For example, the kids probably love take-out meals, but you’re not happy when you can’t give them healthy home-cooked meals. Everyone’s basic needs have to be met for the family to be happy and healthy.
• What are the rewards for following the system. This is the neat part. If everyone pitches in even for things they don’t consider a priority, then they’re likely to get more time for what they’d rather be doing (within limits, of course).
• What is required of each person. This is the actual mechanics of splitting the tasks between people.

Your family organizer should allow you to easily delegate routine tasks to each member of your household. They should have a mechanism to indicate that they are doing their tasks on a regular basis. You can associate a reward system - whether it’s allowance money or getting to watch their favorite show - with the amount of progress they’re making.

Putting this system in place can be very rewarding, because it brings the family closer together as a team, and everyone understands each other better. Whether or not you actually stick with the system for the long haul will depend on how successful you were at getting your family’s buy-in. So plan this carefully, and be sure to have a system that periodically rewards good behavior. It worked for my family and I’m sure it can for yours too.

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How well do you know your family? I mean, really.
Do you truly understand where each family member
is coming from? What they’re thinking when you’re
talking to them? What are their motivations and
desires, and how they’re going to inflict chaos
on that institution that you’d like to call
“Home Sweet Home”?

If all is well with your family and you’re happy
with the way things are going, you probably do.
If things are not going so well, and you maybe
sometimes thought that your family was getting
a little bit dysfunctional, then you need to go
back to the drawing board and reconfigure your
thinking on each family member.

In business, they teach you that to motivate a team
to achieve a common goal, you must first present a
vision and get everyone to buy into that vision.
Then you need to continually remind them of that
vision in a way that inspires them to help you
to achieve it.

What’s your vision for your family? What does
“Home Sweet Home” mean to you? Have you ever
discussed this with your family? The vision
needs to be a common one that everyone can
agree to.

Clearly, each individual in the family has his
or her own vision of what utopia is to them.
Timmy’s thinking Xbox 24×7 and no schoolwork.
Katy’s teen crush and Manga books consume her.
Joe’s a die-hard sports fan and beer-drinker.
And Mary’s happy if she can have some time
to herself after she’s managed to put
healthy food on the table after
coming home from a long day’s work at her real job.

To achieve a balance and make everyone happy,
each must understand what the other’s
end goal is. Together as a family, resolve
to make that end goal possible for each family
member (as long as it is legal and healthy).

Start the dialog today and continue
the dialog for a few weeks. You’re sure to
notice the difference!

© 2006 by Saro Saravanan.

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America is always on the moveliterally. Experts estimate that one out of five households move to a new residence each year. If you do the math, that amounts to a whopping 1.5 million moves every month. Those are some amazing stats, especially if you consider how trying and stressful such moves can be. It’s a wonder that one householdlet alone millions!can pull it off.

If you’re part of this statistic and on the verge of a big move, though, don’t be daunted by the whole process of packing up your stuff, loading it, and dragging it to your new home. There is a way to move without losing any valuables, too much money, or your mind, whether you’re moving across town, or across the continent. With some common sense, some help from professionals, friends, and loved ones, and the essential “Do’s and Don’ts” list in this article, you can be successful and avoid all of the mishaps and stress that usually come with moving.

We’ll start with the positivethe Do’s on our list. Make sure to check off all of these before you even start stuffing boxes with your stuff. Do:

Line up help for packing and moving your stuff. It depends on your budget whether you hire professional movers or call in the volunteer brigade (your friends and family). Either way, round up somebody.

Have a chat with your post office, making sure they know to forward your mail to your new address. In many cases, you will need to fill out a mail-forwarding form.

Purchase brand-new moving boxes from your moving company or truck-renting company. They’re worth the money. Bugs and vermin can stow away in old boxes. No need to give them a free ride to your new digs.

Sort through your stuff for old valuables you don’t need anymore to sell. Be honest with yourself, and you may be able to pay for your move with the money you makeespecially if you sell them at convenient and easy marketplaces like online classified sites.

Drop off old valuables that aren’t worth selling at a Goodwill or other charity thrift shop.

Think comfort and safety on move day. Pack a first-aid kit with medicines and hygiene products, as well as a change of clothes and light snacks.

Now onto the Don’ts. Avoid these missteps, and your move will feel like an exciting adventure, not painful torture. So don’t:

Take on the entire move without any help and worse, without any planning.

Forget to find out your local post office’s rules for transferring mail. And while you’re at it, don’t let it slip your mind to change your address, as well.

Move without your kids and pets or leave them home alone during trips to and from your old and new residences. For pets and small children, your best bet is a sitter.

Grab a few used vegetable boxes from the supermarket or grocery store. They may be cheap, but bugs and dirt may be hiding inside them. You want to start in your new home with a clean slate, not an infested one.

Haul old kitchen junk, like worn-out plastic containers and chipped glasses, with you to your home. You can save yourself a lot of heartache, and muscle aches, if you use the move as a chance to get rid of this kind of stuff.

Pack expired canned foods, leftovers, and perishables. Anything that can spill, go rotten, and cause a mess in any way is not worth the effort. Again, think clean slate.

Throw a garage sale, sell what you can, and save the leftovers for the garage sale you tell yourself you’ll have next spring. Truth is, this stuff will probably be clogging your storage space for years to come. If you want to sell it, try an easier and more profitable way, such as online classified ads.

Forget to unpack box after box after you move in and then when you can’t find something (because it’s buried in a box somewhere), go shopping for it. Unpack as quickly as possible. You won’t feel at home in your new place until you do.

These Do’s and Don’ts will help you have a “moving” experience when you settle into your new home. But instead of tears of frustration and anguish pouring out your eyes, they will be tears of joy.

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