Why is the world perpetually in crisis, on the brink of self-destruction? Essentially it is because we do not yet realize that we are one global family sharing a common planetary home.

We must release ourselves from the poison of competition, must realize it for the glamour which it is, and seeing the Oneness of all, embrace co-operation for the General Good. Only co-operation will save us from a disaster of our own making, co-operation alone will guarantee our future in living co-operatively.

Little by little, a new consciousness is awakening humanity to its inner needs. The cold, competitive spirit dies hard, but nevertheless a new sprit of co-operation is likewise to be seen. By co-operation we can know and demonstrate the inner truth of our divinity. We have to see and accept the rights of every member from the youngest on up. Inculcating co-operation is the most needed thing but it is up to the individual families to instil it. There is no such thing as ‘healthy competition’. There is either co-operation or competition. Co-operation is pro-active, and by sharing our resources will restore and maintain our sanity. It will make life happier, healthier and a more peaceful place for us to share together.

Competition among ourselves leads to unnecessary tension and stress resulting in our members working at cross purposes with each other. This not only causes problems in our member continuity, but in our own personal lives. When we are continually working on ways to be better than the next person, or how to be one step ahead of someone, or even how we can damage the reputation of another, how can we have peace and harmony in our lives or in our community? How does this constitute a benefit to our community or to ourselves?

What makes karma a major problem for people is their inability to deal with it, to recognize their own responsibility for it and to do something about it. Most people blame their problems on other people or on circumstances; it was their upbringing, the fact that their parents did not love them, or got divorced, or left them wanting, or that their husband/wives left them, or did not leave them. All these experiences are shed onto others through our actions, words and even looks, but of course it is all to do with ones own karma, our own responsibility. One thing that holds us back in evolution is the karma, which is always sitting on our shoulders and is not burnt away in the fire of service to each other or ourselves.

If we continually look at our motives, and assess the true, underlying intention behind everything we say or do, we gradually become pure. We act spontaneously in the right way. We become non-competitive. If there is no peace in our lives then there will never be peace in our own community. So it is absolutely essential that we learn to dig deep into our own selves and consciously put forth our best efforts in co-operation with each other.

Our collective future, the future of our partnership depends on us; let us therefore plan our future with vision and realism.

This article mybe re-printed providing all copyright and author information remains intact.

The Spirit of Co-operation
© Debbie Long
www.designsbydebbie.ca
debbie@designsbydebbie.ca

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I have been waking up thinking about something that happening to me and my son Chuck. I have decided to write it down while it’s on my mind.

Chuck was seventeen, we had him when I was seventeen, a child dad . This was not a good combination I thought I knew it all ,he knew he did. Needless to say we had not been getting along very well for quite a while.

My wife told me, honey you need to find a way to spend more time with Chuck. Well I have not been spending very much time with him the last few years. Honey he will be grown and gone before you know it, I said ok. Chuck is my oldest son. I have seven children, fourteen grand kids and Five great grand children.

So I have decided to start spending more time with Chuck now the question is, doing what?

We tried golf, he tried to hard and all we did was argue. Then we tried fishing but the rest of the kids wanted to go along. That was ok, but it was not what I wanted. How to spend time with Chuck.

Two weeks later a friend of mine ask me to go sailing with him that Saturday as he needed a crewman.

He had a real nice sailboat a Catalina 22. The rules were that he had to have two people on his boat to race. His normal crew had something to do and couldn’t sail that Saturday so he ask me. I told him that I had never sailed on a sailboat, he said that was ok. He would show me. I ask can I bring my son Chuck along? He said yes no problem. We went, Chuck nor I knew anything about sailing and we a great time.

On the way home we talked about a lot of things. One thing that was brought up was, why don’t we get us a sailboat, then we could learn to sail together.

The next week we looked in the paper (bet you thought I was going to say internet, there wasn’t any internet back then) the paper.

SAILBOAT FOR SALE the ad read. Dad let’s go look at it. First we called had it in the paper for $850 said that would take $600 cash. We went to look at it.

It was a Dolphin. Not to bad, a two person sailboat 5 years old and in good shape. We got it.

Chuck was very proud of that boat. We joined the sailboat club to go racing (fours hours to go three miles) Breaking the speed records. Chuck got some books from the library about the racing rules. The next week he told me. Keep going dad we have the right-of -way and he yelled starboard boat. Yea we are doing ok.

The last race was November 15th It was cold and windy about 35mph. The race was to start at 1pm. We got out to the lake at 11am. Got the boat unloaded and got the sail up. The wind was blowing about 35mph and boat was pulling hard. Chuck was going to park the car but I told him to come on. We would sail the boat to the dock and come back and park the car. He said let me get the life preservers, I said no come on let’s go we will be right back.

As we got under way, damm this wind must be blowing harder than I thought. Thrilling but a little scary if you know what I mean. In just minutes we were quite a ways out. I tried to turn around but a nearly turned the boat over. The only way that I could turn around was to go across the lake to the other side and get out of the hard wind. Man what a ride the temp was 45 cold but exciting we were right on the edge.

We got turned around no easy feat and headed back. We have decided to put the boat up we didn’t want any more of this. Cold wet and a little scared. A gust hit us. What am I doing in the water. It’s ok Chuck will come back and get me. I heard Chuck yell stay there dad I will go and get the boat. We were both in the water and the boat was moving away from us. We both tried to swim after it but we could not get close to it. The waves were one to two feet high, the wind just moved the boat away from us.

I looked around it was two miles to land that way, and two miles that way. Four miles that way and that way. I always thought when I heard of someone drowning how could anyone get in that kind of trouble. Now I know.

Chuck we are in a lot of trouble. We may be ok if we can survive for 30 or 45min. I think that the crew will be out to put the racing pylons in place. They will surely see the boat with the sail down it the water, and know that there is a problem.

I read somewhere that if you are in an emergency like this stay away from each other Chuck was trying to hold me up. I pushed him away. I told him we are in a lot of trouble and we will have to save ourselves.

I can float and Chuck can tread water but it is so cold and the waves are so high. I must remember to keep the top of my head down under the water and wait until a wave goes over my head then take a breath. It’s going pretty good oh man it’s cold. Cough- Cough where did that wave come from. Chuck are you ok. Chuck, sorry dad thought I heard you but the wind. I didn’t know .Yes I am ok. Dad- yes, are we going to make it. I have not seen any boats on the lake. Do you think that I should try to swim to shore. No let’s wait and see if the crew comes out. How long has it been, 20 minutes dad.

It goes on and on. It seems like hours float, tread water, see if Chuck is ok, float again.

I am floating, I here a boat motor. I know that we have made it. I heard my son holler throw me something that floats and save my dad, he is up there. I relaxed I was saved I saw the boat getting dimmer and dimmer as I started to sink. All at once a hand hit me in the chest I grabbed it and he pulled me from under the water.

On shore waiting for the ambulance the guys told me they saw the Dolphin floating into the dam. They thought that it had broken loose from its mooring. So they launched their boat and went after it, but when they saw the sails in the water. They knew it was an emergency, standard procedures. Head up wind that’s were the boat had to come from and hope that you are time to save whoever is in trouble.

So that’s what they did then they went tearing across that lake. When they saw my son he told them give me something that floats And save my dad. He is that way. They said they did not see me. Then there he is.

He just went under quick hold my legs. He reached under the water and touched my chest and grabbed me, he said he thought that something broke his arm is was grabbed so hard. He had a black bruise on that arm for a week

My son made a quick recovery. The doctor told me I nearly didn’t make it. It was a good thing that I had quit smoking the year before or I probably wouldn’t have. We were in the water only 45 minutes. It seemed like hours.

Chuck and I have sailed for years since then. We have had many boats over the years and had many sailing experiences. But none like this.

Chuck and I haven’t ever said anything about this. But I thought that I should write this down before I forget it Because it’s been 28 years and my memory is not what it use to be.

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Two months ago I had Pneumonia. I am still recovering from the effects of it.
Workouts have been improving daily over the last month. I have been getting my
strength back. My health has been improving daily. I have been having a clear vision
for my future. The one thing that loomed on the horizon as a potential unknown
was my living situation.

I have been living out in the country for almost 14 months now. My flat was about
20 miles from any major city. The cost of gas was eating me alive, but when I
slept at night, I was at peace. I felt safe. Moreover, the apartment was clean (I am
clean) and it was perfect for my needs. The rent was fairly steep, but it included
utilities so it was a fairly reasonable place to live. In most ways, it was perfect for
me. So, should I renew and stay another year, or find cheaper environs if possible?

Then I made the fateful mistake of talking to my brother one night about three
months ago during which I dared to suggest he get a roommate. You see, we had
been gabbing on the phone about this and that when he began to bemoan his
financial situation. He had a nice condominium for the last 2-3 years and he just
could not afford it on his salary any more. So, I suggested he leave that place and
move into the apartment complex I was in. It was close to many things he liked
(mountains and folks music scene). What’s more, there was an awesome, huge,
vacant apartment within the complex that almost defies description. It was a very
cool place indeed.

I had several reasons for suggesting this course of action for my brother. First, it
would save us both money. We could each spend $600.00 a month and everything
was included. There was room to spare and my brother would have a place for all
his furniture and books. Seeing as how I had relatively little of these things, it made
good sense. Plus, the place had a Jacuzzi, which would have been very therapeutic
for us both.

Second, and this is where things get dicey, my brother had destroyed his current
place of residence over the last three years. He was overwhelmed by its size and the
amount of clutter. He just let it go. In the 2-3 years he had lived there, he simply
trashed the joint. He never cleaned it once, and it was filthy, covered in cat vomit (he
has a precious cat that we both love, but she has a nervous stomach). He never
changed the air filters which led to the air conditioner breaking and I hated going
there because if how messy it was. Moreover, it was just bad for my lungs. In light
of all of this, it seemed that starting over with a clean slate might be good for my
brother.

My suggestion would allow him to start over with a new place. But, as I read what I
am typing I begin to see just how stupid and foolish that all sounds. After all, this
brother of mine is a grown man who was content with piles of cat vomit all over his
apartment. What was I thinking to believe that he would be able to change if he got
a fresh new start? He had developed some strong, negative habits at his place and
his habits would follow him wherever he went, unless he decided to change.

Then there were the fights. At times my brother and I just fight, fuss and argue. I
am told this is what brothers do. Is that really true? Anyway, I thought that in the
past few months things had been going well between us and that maybe we could
room together. We seemed to be enjoying each others company more and more,
however we only spent short periods of time together and maybe that is why we
were getting along so swimmingly. More delusion, perhaps? Was I was a fool for
thinking this?

In the end, my brother declined my offer. He said the wear and tear on his car,
coupled with fuel costs, was just too much for him to handle and that he could not
see uprooting himself from his home. So the idea was shelved. Thank God for small
miracles too, because I suspect that if we had done this he would have treated this
new place just like his old place.

Anyway, a few days passed after that particular conversation. We had the chance to
speak again a few days later. During that conversation, he told me he thought I was
right and that he did think he needed a roommate but that he wanted me to be the roommate and he wanted me to move into his basement.

Naturally, I had my reservations because of the filth at his place and his personality
is so different from mine, but he assured me that he would clean the place and get
it in shape so that it would be a healthy environment for me. I thought about it and
after a few days and gave him a call. I spoke to him and said that as long as he
understood the place needed to be clean I could deal with it. So, the agreement was
made and I told my landlord to start looking for another tenant.

Well, that was two months ago. My brother had the whole month of April to get
things in order. By the third week of April he had done nothing. His place was not
ready. Not by a long-shot. In the meantime however, my landlady had rented my
apartment out and I was in panic.

Where was I going to go? My brother had basically done what he has always done:
He put things off so much that by the time he started to work on the apartment he
realized that he had bitten off more than he could chew. There was no way he was
going to have the place ready in time for me to move in. I began to pray that God
would make my place available for one more month, and against all odds He did
make it available. The people who leased the place backed out at the last minute
which meant I could rent it if I wanted.

My brother had begged me for more time and I told him that my place was still
available and that I could possibly take it for one more month, which is what I did.
All of this came to pass because my brother was not ready. I had my place still. All
was fine with my world and we moved forward.

My brother now had the month of May to get the Apartment ready. This was
graduation weekend at his place of employment however. He was so busy and so
tired at the end of the day that he just didn’t have the energy to get the apartment
ready. So, he failed to follow through to the extent necessary to allow for a
roommate. For all of his forthcoming criticism of me for wanting to back out at the
last minute, he has done nothing BUT wait until the last minute all his life. And it
not only costs him, it costs those around him.

Two weeks from the end of May my brother had not done much to the basement. I
was having second thoughts. I told him so. The fights began to happen any time we
spoke. He was not moving fast enough and I needed to get on with my life. I should
have just renewed my lease then, but my brother was looking at getting behind on
rent and possibly evicted. Besides, there was no way in hell anyone else would put
up with his shenanigans and he stood a scant chance of finding a roommate until
his house was in order. So I was torn between two loyalties: one to myself and one
to family.

I knew my brother needed help, that much is true. But I also knew I didn’t feel right
about leaving. My brother needed a roommate, but I didn’t. Why then should I move
in with him? Again I asked him to come live with me. The upstairs 3-BR apartment
was no longer available, but my place was and while it was smaller, it could do for a
while. He refused again, saying that there was no way he was going to uproot
himself from his home and that he was going to hold me to my commitment to
move into his place, even though he had failed to follow through on his end: the
apartment was still filthy and in even more disarray than before. There was no way
my stuff, scant though it was, would fit in the basement he wanted me to rent out. I
was looking at storage facilities as a potential cost and I was really unhappy and
angry at this point.

So, you now get the picture, don’t you? Two months ago, my brother promised me
big changes in his place. He wanted me for a roommate, because according to him I
represented the least amount of lifestyle change for him, and he promised he would
get his place livable for me. Moreover, I didn’t want him to get evicted. I wanted to
help him. He is my brother after all. In spite of the contentious history he and I
have, I felt I could handle the idea of living with him as long as the place was clean.

Now we are down to the wire with one week to go, folks, and it’s clear my brother
has no place for me to put my things!! Of course, he is feeling the pressure of
financial commitments too. I am looking at having to store my belongings in a
facility. I no longer want to move in with him at all and my landlady needs to know
what I am going to do. She needs a decision, and oh by the way….did I
mention that my brother managed to lose his job? Yup. He lost his job exactly one
week from the move. His firing/resignation is another story unto itself, but the
timing of this information could not have been worse. I had actually called him to
tell him there was no way I was moving in with him when he dropped this bomb on
me. It floored me. How was I going to back out now? How could I tell my own
brother on the day he gets fired that I am backing out on him. So, I let
him know that I would be there for him.

Well, at this point we are six days away from the end of the month. My brother is
frantic. He is expecting me to move in even though we have had countless fights
and even though I had expressed my reservations and lack of desire to move in with
him. Because he had lost his job I agreed to go ahead with this transition, even
though I suspected I would be miserable as a result. To make things worse, a small
girl next door to me had falling in love with me. She adored me and we were great
friends. She was just so adorable, and she did not want me to move. I was really in a
tight spot. I didn’t have the strength to do what I knew I needed to do because if I
stayed put, my brother would be devastated. But you know, the Spirit is strong, and
it had been telling me what to do all month long.

As we approached D-Day, I called my brother. After much prayer I knew what I
needed to do, and even though it was difficult I made the decision to let my brother
down.

I called him and told him I could not do this move. He told me that if I backed out
on him I was a bastard and that with all the shit he had on him he was not about to
let me dump more shit on him by pulling out of this arrangement we had. The day
before the move was to take place, I called him once more at home. It was 10:30
PM. I begged and pleaded with him. It was the eleventh hour, and I didn’t to go
through with this. I begged him to let me out of this commitment and he just hung
up on me.

So, there it was. I was going to have to do this thing. I could not hurt my brother by
leaving him in the lurch like this. I loved him, so how could I do that t o him? But as
much as I loved him, I now resented him too. He was in a tough spot. I know this. I
know he was scared. But I also perceived that he was being selfish and self-centered
about this. I perceived he was unhealthy emotionally. And I was going to force
myself to move in with this human being? And why? How emotionally healthy does it
make me, that I would leave my peaceful environs, my dreams and
visions, just to save a person who has so mismanaged his life that he could not
survive without crisis intervention?

The next day I woke up at 3:00 AM and sat on my bed and nearly vomited. I felt like
I was about to be executed and I was hours away from learning about the greatest
mystery known to man: death. I prayed and prayed. I agonized. I wanted to pick up
the phone and call my landlord just to arrange a meeting where I could renew my
lease. I wanted to tell my brother to fend for himself. He created his mess, and he is
responsible for his life. And yet, I didn’t have the strength to do that. I was more
concerned about avoiding feelings of guilt and looking like a traitor in my brothers
eyes than I was about my own health, success and happiness. Imagine that!

By 9Am I was a mess. I was pacing my apartment like a caged animal, trying to work
up the intestinal fortitude to do what was best for me. As a Christian, this seemed
counterintuitive. Were we not suppose to be our brothers keeper? Are we not
suppose to put the needs of others above our own? Or did I misunderstand the
teachings of Christ so much that I was about to make one of the biggest mistakes of
my life, and for all of the wrong reasons?

By noon, I had managed to force myself to walk out of the apartment, get in my car
and head down the road to my demise. As I drove toward town to get the rental
truck, the resentment of my brother rose to a crescendo. I was feeling such loathing
for him, or was it for myself for doing what I felt was so wrong to do? I had no
reason to be upset with my brother. Not really. It was myself I was upset with. I had
a wonderful life that I decided to throw away in order to help someone else who I
now resented. And yet I kept driving, like a herd of swine collectively rushing off a
cliff to its death, driven by some unseen force.

I spent $220.00 to get the truck and the damn storage facility where all my life
would be stored. Especially my weights. My precious weights. And for how long? A
day? A month? A year? And all for a brother who up until recently never really had
much in common with me. We didn’t really even like each other all that much. At
least not very often.

Needless to say the day was rough. It was full or regret. Getting the rental truck was
weird. I felt so numb, I was so exhausted that I didn’t have time for sitting down and
counting the cost of my decision. My brother, who had wanted to help me, rode with
me out to my place in the rental truck. We barely spoke.

When we got to my place in the country it was 4PM. This little girl in the apartment
complex saw me back the truck into my parking space. She was the little one I
mentioned earlier who had grown so attached to me. She came running out of her
apartment , those little five year old legs barely holding her up, and she just
collapsed into my legs, crying so hard. It was so hard for us both. She counted on
me to be there for her, and I let her down. I was crushed. My brother stood there
watching this unfold and he appeared to be unmoved, though he denies this.

I was hoping my brother would see this anguishing display, walk into my apartment,
turn around and say, “Tim, this just isn’t right. It feels all wrong. Stay here.” Instead,
he walked into my apartment, took one look at it and said, “You are not ready. You
are not packed. This is going to be hard to do.” Of course, this was untrue, I was
packed. But that is beside the point. He was getting what he wanted. And I was not.

We loaded the truck and by 6PM what remained in my apartment could be gotten by
car. We drove to the storage facility nearby and it was closed! This meant I had to
take my brother all the way back to town and then drive the truck ALL the way back
out into the country where I would sleep in my apartment overnight for what would
be the last time, or so I thought.

The very next morning, I woke up and was so tempted to just unload the truck that
we had packed the day before. I wanted so much to do it. But I was to exhausted by
then to make the mental leap necessary to change direction. I just went forward
with the plan.

I unloaded the truck, took it back to town, got into my car, came back out to
my place again and spent one last night in my place. It was so sad to do this
and for so many reasons. The bottom line is I was committed, or should have been
committed.

Postscript:

I have been at my brothers place three nights and already I want to leave. I have no
reason to be here. None that I can see. And yet the $220.00 I spent on the move,
the $200.00 I gave to my brother for partial rent and the $160.00 I spent on the
Voynage phone system has so damaged my bank balance that I am not sure I could
move back to my place even if I wanted to. Yet, that is what I want to do. The
question is will I? Should I?

Oh, and one more thing. Over the last five years I have had several friends who
stuck by me closer that a brother. One, who is someone I love with all my heart, is a
sweet lady in Canada. The best friend I have ever had, really. We have spoken to
each other 4-5 times a day for the last five years. She is my soul mate of sorts. She
loves me too. Her name is Bunny. I had a phone calling plan that allowed me to
speak to her as much as I wanted. That too, is now gone. My brother uses Sprint,
not Verizon, and Sprint has no such calling plan. Hence the need for Voynage, if I
wanted to stay in touch with Bunzer.

At present, I feel weak, underweight, sick and tired. I am at my brothers place to
make HIM feel secure. Yet, if I were back at my place I would still be in a flow of
faith and blessing, I would be working out and looking forward to a bright future.
Now, that vision and focus has been damaged.

In the end, I love my brother, but just because I love him does not mean if I help
him I will be happy. I have learned this lesson the hard way. If I don’t help him, I will
feel remorse as well. It is a difficult place to be in.

I suppose I could sit down and itemize it. I could look at the pro’s and con’s of the
two situations, but really do I need to do that? The Spirit doesn’t look at pro’s and
con’s. It looks at Truth and Peace. That is what the Spirit tried to teach me the other
day. I just have to have the courage to do what is right for me.

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