Family life is busy. It’s hard enough to manage your own time, but in a family you’re responsible for managing everyone’s time. And like any other team, your family cannot succeed without teamwork. Problem is, even though you may be close to your family members, they still tend to take a lot of things for granted. It’s not like you’re facing a competing team in a match everyday, so how do you rally the troops to keep your family running smoothly?

If you’re like the typical household organizer, you’re barely getting through a day without goading or reminding your spouse, the babysitter, or the kids several times about what chore or homework or sports activity they’re supposed to be doing or not. And, on occasion, either you or your spouse ends up at wrong place or the wrong time, and there is enough frustration to go all around. Surely, there’s got to be a better way!

There is. It’s called family management. No doubt, love is the basis for a happy family. But a little management will go a long way in keeping that institution running smoothly.

Family Management ought to be taught in school. These days, there are some schools offering programs on family management, and that’s a good thing. Most of us have never even thought of the term even though we may deal with the issues every day. Some of us are probably even good family managers!

If you take a step back and think about everyday life, it offers some of the same challenges any team of unconnected individuals will come to face if they need to live in close quarters and work towards some common goals. In other words, workgroups everywhere face almost exactly the same set of challenges that a family faces. Workgroups spend a lot of time and resources towards managing teamwork. Families generally don’t, and they should.

The UCLA Center for Everyday Living noted in a recently concluded study that between two careers and parenting, there are three jobs, but only two people to run them. I’d add that there’s a fourth job - household management. Keeping all these things running smoothly and retaining your sanity requires efficient management.

Whether you’re running a busy household or managing a small team, what you need do to keep things running smoothly are the same:

• Make daily, weekly, and monthly to-do lists for everyone
• Set expectations
• Monitor progress and provide frequent feedback
• Continually educate, motivate, and inspire

Get yourself a good family organizer. There are several available. There are paper-based solutions and software-based solutions (like the one my company, Mediabee, makes). Whichever solution you pick, be sure that it meets all of the requirements above.

But before you implement the solution, remember, you must get your family’s buy-in first. Not doing so would be to set yourself up for failure. It is human nature to concentrate on your own priorities, and your spouse and kids are human. (So are you as a matter of fact.) The other, often overlooked, fact is, men, women, and children are differently constructed and their priorities tend to be dramatically different. Hence the need for everyone to get on the same page as you start to put this solution into practice.

Here are the things to discuss as put this system in place:

• Why the system is needed. Emphasize the positive aspects of what you’re trying to achieve: to be a healthy and happy family. You’d think this should be obvious, but, as I said, people think differently, even if they’re your own family. Each family’s situation is unique, so you’ll have to discuss the situation appropriately. Bottomline: everybody has to do their part of the required chores, whether or not they think it is a priority for them, or the “family” isn’t going to be happy. For example, the kids probably love take-out meals, but you’re not happy when you can’t give them healthy home-cooked meals. Everyone’s basic needs have to be met for the family to be happy and healthy.
• What are the rewards for following the system. This is the neat part. If everyone pitches in even for things they don’t consider a priority, then they’re likely to get more time for what they’d rather be doing (within limits, of course).
• What is required of each person. This is the actual mechanics of splitting the tasks between people.

Your family organizer should allow you to easily delegate routine tasks to each member of your household. They should have a mechanism to indicate that they are doing their tasks on a regular basis. You can associate a reward system - whether it’s allowance money or getting to watch their favorite show - with the amount of progress they’re making.

Putting this system in place can be very rewarding, because it brings the family closer together as a team, and everyone understands each other better. Whether or not you actually stick with the system for the long haul will depend on how successful you were at getting your family’s buy-in. So plan this carefully, and be sure to have a system that periodically rewards good behavior. It worked for my family and I’m sure it can for yours too.

Tags: chore chart, family calendar, family management, family stress, household managementchore chart, family calendar, family management, family stress, household management

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How well do you know your family? I mean, really.
Do you truly understand where each family member
is coming from? What they’re thinking when you’re
talking to them? What are their motivations and
desires, and how they’re going to inflict chaos
on that institution that you’d like to call
“Home Sweet Home”?

If all is well with your family and you’re happy
with the way things are going, you probably do.
If things are not going so well, and you maybe
sometimes thought that your family was getting
a little bit dysfunctional, then you need to go
back to the drawing board and reconfigure your
thinking on each family member.

In business, they teach you that to motivate a team
to achieve a common goal, you must first present a
vision and get everyone to buy into that vision.
Then you need to continually remind them of that
vision in a way that inspires them to help you
to achieve it.

What’s your vision for your family? What does
“Home Sweet Home” mean to you? Have you ever
discussed this with your family? The vision
needs to be a common one that everyone can
agree to.

Clearly, each individual in the family has his
or her own vision of what utopia is to them.
Timmy’s thinking Xbox 24×7 and no schoolwork.
Katy’s teen crush and Manga books consume her.
Joe’s a die-hard sports fan and beer-drinker.
And Mary’s happy if she can have some time
to herself after she’s managed to put
healthy food on the table after
coming home from a long day’s work at her real job.

To achieve a balance and make everyone happy,
each must understand what the other’s
end goal is. Together as a family, resolve
to make that end goal possible for each family
member (as long as it is legal and healthy).

Start the dialog today and continue
the dialog for a few weeks. You’re sure to
notice the difference!

© 2006 by Saro Saravanan.

Tags: family calendar, family management, honey do list, marital stress, marriage, nagging, time managementfamily calendar, family management, honey do list, marital stress, marriage, nagging, time management

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New Year’s resolutions are popular. But for most of us with school age children, isn’t the beginning of school year really the time to make resolutions? After summer vacation, as we prepare for the new school year, it’s a great opportunity to set life in order. So as you’re thinking about your back-to-school checklist, why not think a little bigger and plan out the entire school year to the extent you can?

That way, you really establish patterns and expectations for this year and next - at least until end of school year.

As the summer winds down, your first thought is probably about shopping for clothes, accessories, and school supplies - we’ve got those checklists here. But we’ve got much more than that. Read on.

Clothing & Accessories

• Shoes, Boots
• Socks
• Underwear
• Shorts, pants, skirts
• Shirts, blouses, T-shirts
• Sweats
• Sweater, cardigan
• Raincoat, coat
• Uniforms
• Backpack
• Eyeglasses or contact lenses

School Supplies

• Lunch box, thermos
• Pens, pencils, colored pencils, crayons, Hi-Liter
• Erasers, white out
• Geometry set, school box
• Paper, computer paper, construction paper, post-its
• Paper punch, paper clips, staples
• School box, rulers, scissors, rubber bands
• Poster board
• Binders, folders, dividers
• Book socks

Gadgets

• Calculator
• Cell phone
• iPod
• Laptop

Sports

• Track suit
• Sport-specific gear: baseball bat, soccer shoes, etc.

Now that we’ve taken care of the shopping lists, let’s spend a little time thinking
about our plan for the coming year. Below you’ll find a list of various items
relating to family living that will have an impact on your time and schedule.

This is where the “resolutions” come in. Think about your family’s goals for the coming
year and write them down. They could be things like losing weight, having time
for yourself, having more quality time with your family, taking better care of
your older relatives, paying down debt, winning a championship, and so on.
Whatever your goal, here’s the chance to “plan it in” to the school year.

Life has a way of taking its own course despite your goals. As you’re thinking
through these items, it’s a good idea to start planning for these activities
on your calendar. You could do your planning on a paper calendar or day planner, or you
could use a computer program like the one my company, Mediabee, makes.

Another advantage of this approach is, as you think through all the essential
activities and account for your goals in your schedule, you might find that
you’re not overscheduling your family with activities that don’t contribute to
meeting your family’s goals.

Chores

• Pet care
• Elder care
• Medication
• Shopping
• Cooking
• Room care - straighten out, trash
• Home care - cleaning, gardening, yard
• Kitchen care - dishes, cooking

School-Related

• Homework
• Open House
• PTO/PTA Meetings

Extra-Curricular Activities

• Birthday parties
• Playdates
• Music, Dance
• Volunteering
• Clubs
• Scouts
• Discussion/support groups
• Church

Diet & Nutrition

• Meal planning
• School lunches
• Snacks

Health & Fitness

• Exercise
• Weight management
• Vaccinations
• Eye & ear exams
• Physical checkup
• Doctor and dentist appointments

Automotive

• Car maintenance
• Inspection
• Registration
• Driver’s License

Finances

• Paychecks
• Bills
• Budget
• Savings
• Retirement plan
• Income tax
• Property tax

Insurance

• Health
• Life
• Home
• Car & boat
• Disability
• Dental

Home Care

• Fall & Spring cleanup
• Gutters
• Roof & Chimney
• Carpets
• Windows
• Exterior
• Sealcoating
• Repairs

Career

• Travel
• Work schedule

Vacation & Leisure

• Eating out
• Museums & Parks
• Winter Break
• Spring Break
• Weekend trips
• Vacation
• Me Time
• Family Time

Entertainment

• TV
• Games
• Movies
• Arts
• Theater

Birthdays & Anniversaries

• Gifts
• Greeting cards
• Parties

Other Special Needs

You might think, am I overdoing this? Does this take the fun out of life?
What about being spontaneous? I think we’re all guilty of being a bit too
spontaneous with our lives. It’s no coincidence that we end up making the
same New Year’s resolutions every year. Let this new school year be different!
Shoot for meeting as many goals as you can, and may be you will meet
a few after all. Good luck!

© 2006 by Saro Saravanan.

Tags: back to school, family calendar, family management, honey do list, marital stress, time managementback to school, family calendar, family management, honey do list, marital stress, time management

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