How well do you know your family? I mean, really.
Do you truly understand where each family member
is coming from? What they’re thinking when you’re
talking to them? What are their motivations and
desires, and how they’re going to inflict chaos
on that institution that you’d like to call
“Home Sweet Home”?

If all is well with your family and you’re happy
with the way things are going, you probably do.
If things are not going so well, and you maybe
sometimes thought that your family was getting
a little bit dysfunctional, then you need to go
back to the drawing board and reconfigure your
thinking on each family member.

In business, they teach you that to motivate a team
to achieve a common goal, you must first present a
vision and get everyone to buy into that vision.
Then you need to continually remind them of that
vision in a way that inspires them to help you
to achieve it.

What’s your vision for your family? What does
“Home Sweet Home” mean to you? Have you ever
discussed this with your family? The vision
needs to be a common one that everyone can
agree to.

Clearly, each individual in the family has his
or her own vision of what utopia is to them.
Timmy’s thinking Xbox 24×7 and no schoolwork.
Katy’s teen crush and Manga books consume her.
Joe’s a die-hard sports fan and beer-drinker.
And Mary’s happy if she can have some time
to herself after she’s managed to put
healthy food on the table after
coming home from a long day’s work at her real job.

To achieve a balance and make everyone happy,
each must understand what the other’s
end goal is. Together as a family, resolve
to make that end goal possible for each family
member (as long as it is legal and healthy).

Start the dialog today and continue
the dialog for a few weeks. You’re sure to
notice the difference!

© 2006 by Saro Saravanan.

Tags: family calendar, family management, honey do list, marital stress, marriage, nagging, time managementfamily calendar, family management, honey do list, marital stress, marriage, nagging, time management

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New Year’s resolutions are popular. But for most of us with school age children, isn’t the beginning of school year really the time to make resolutions? After summer vacation, as we prepare for the new school year, it’s a great opportunity to set life in order. So as you’re thinking about your back-to-school checklist, why not think a little bigger and plan out the entire school year to the extent you can?

That way, you really establish patterns and expectations for this year and next - at least until end of school year.

As the summer winds down, your first thought is probably about shopping for clothes, accessories, and school supplies - we’ve got those checklists here. But we’ve got much more than that. Read on.

Clothing & Accessories

• Shoes, Boots
• Socks
• Underwear
• Shorts, pants, skirts
• Shirts, blouses, T-shirts
• Sweats
• Sweater, cardigan
• Raincoat, coat
• Uniforms
• Backpack
• Eyeglasses or contact lenses

School Supplies

• Lunch box, thermos
• Pens, pencils, colored pencils, crayons, Hi-Liter
• Erasers, white out
• Geometry set, school box
• Paper, computer paper, construction paper, post-its
• Paper punch, paper clips, staples
• School box, rulers, scissors, rubber bands
• Poster board
• Binders, folders, dividers
• Book socks

Gadgets

• Calculator
• Cell phone
• iPod
• Laptop

Sports

• Track suit
• Sport-specific gear: baseball bat, soccer shoes, etc.

Now that we’ve taken care of the shopping lists, let’s spend a little time thinking
about our plan for the coming year. Below you’ll find a list of various items
relating to family living that will have an impact on your time and schedule.

This is where the “resolutions” come in. Think about your family’s goals for the coming
year and write them down. They could be things like losing weight, having time
for yourself, having more quality time with your family, taking better care of
your older relatives, paying down debt, winning a championship, and so on.
Whatever your goal, here’s the chance to “plan it in” to the school year.

Life has a way of taking its own course despite your goals. As you’re thinking
through these items, it’s a good idea to start planning for these activities
on your calendar. You could do your planning on a paper calendar or day planner, or you
could use a computer program like the one my company, Mediabee, makes.

Another advantage of this approach is, as you think through all the essential
activities and account for your goals in your schedule, you might find that
you’re not overscheduling your family with activities that don’t contribute to
meeting your family’s goals.

Chores

• Pet care
• Elder care
• Medication
• Shopping
• Cooking
• Room care - straighten out, trash
• Home care - cleaning, gardening, yard
• Kitchen care - dishes, cooking

School-Related

• Homework
• Open House
• PTO/PTA Meetings

Extra-Curricular Activities

• Birthday parties
• Playdates
• Music, Dance
• Volunteering
• Clubs
• Scouts
• Discussion/support groups
• Church

Diet & Nutrition

• Meal planning
• School lunches
• Snacks

Health & Fitness

• Exercise
• Weight management
• Vaccinations
• Eye & ear exams
• Physical checkup
• Doctor and dentist appointments

Automotive

• Car maintenance
• Inspection
• Registration
• Driver’s License

Finances

• Paychecks
• Bills
• Budget
• Savings
• Retirement plan
• Income tax
• Property tax

Insurance

• Health
• Life
• Home
• Car & boat
• Disability
• Dental

Home Care

• Fall & Spring cleanup
• Gutters
• Roof & Chimney
• Carpets
• Windows
• Exterior
• Sealcoating
• Repairs

Career

• Travel
• Work schedule

Vacation & Leisure

• Eating out
• Museums & Parks
• Winter Break
• Spring Break
• Weekend trips
• Vacation
• Me Time
• Family Time

Entertainment

• TV
• Games
• Movies
• Arts
• Theater

Birthdays & Anniversaries

• Gifts
• Greeting cards
• Parties

Other Special Needs

You might think, am I overdoing this? Does this take the fun out of life?
What about being spontaneous? I think we’re all guilty of being a bit too
spontaneous with our lives. It’s no coincidence that we end up making the
same New Year’s resolutions every year. Let this new school year be different!
Shoot for meeting as many goals as you can, and may be you will meet
a few after all. Good luck!

© 2006 by Saro Saravanan.

Tags: back to school, family calendar, family management, honey do list, marital stress, time managementback to school, family calendar, family management, honey do list, marital stress, time management

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Are you living your life day to day, with seemingly
no help from your family, stuck in a thankless job?
Does a recent TV commercial depicting the
“invisible mom” seem fitting to your situation?
Do you feel like you’ve lost control of your life?
That you have no time to yourself any more?

You’re in the same boat as millions of women.
In the old days, people living in big homes had
a household staff and even a household manager
to manage them. These days, whether you’re a career mom
or a stay-at-home mom, you’re the household
manager and staff in addition to whatever
other duties you may have. How do you make time
for nurturing yourself and your family? How can
you improve quality of life?

You need to take back control of your life.

Marla Cilley a.k.a FlyLady, runs flylady.net,
a popular destination for women all over who
wish to take back control. She espouses the
concept of a control journal, which is
basically a place to track all the important
things in life — such as your daily, weekly,
and monthly routines and plans.

You can keep it anywhere — a notebook, diary,
whatever. She even sells a spiral bound binder if
you’re into using paper tools. Or you can use a
program such as the one my company, Mediabee, makes.

It is a powerful concept that you might find interesting —
I certainly did.

Once you’ve listed all your routines, be sure to
delegate responsibility. If you end up doing
it all yourself, you’ll forever be out of control,
and over time you’ll find it ends up disrupting
your entire family’s peace and harmony. Enlist your
family members to help you with chores. You can
start small and increase it over time.

“Easy to say”, you say. “But I’m going to end up
doing it all”.

You’re right. It’s not going to be easy, and it’s
not going to happen overnight.

To implement your plans successfully, you need to
communicate that plan in a way that it will
be received well. You don’t want to end up being
a nag. There are paper-based tools, like chore charts,
that could help you, but, depending on your household,
they may not be effective.

Again, some computer programs can be effective
because they can help you set up a plan for each
individual well in advance and automatically remind
the appropriate family members on a regular basis.
So you can get out of the business of micro-management
(a.k.a nagging). Reach your family where they are
— through the desktop, email, or even text
messaging on their cell phones.

Once you have put the plan into action, give it
some time to work. Success won’t come overnight,
but you’ll be well on your way. Contact me if you
have any questions.

© 2006 by Saro Saravanan.

Tags: family calendar, family management, honey do list, marital stress, marriage, nagging, time managementfamily calendar, family management, honey do list, marital stress, marriage, nagging, time management

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